Monday, 20 September 2010


Well aside from journalling my history, I shall endeavour to make sense of the present. It is, after all, where I'm at.

Yesterday was again a good food day. After last week and its endless binges which left me feeling like crap I have managed to get myself back on track. Today has also been better, although I have had desperate urges to binge all day. I haven't purged since Thursday morning (my last binge) so I am currently trying to distract myself. Unfortunately I went out earlier and bought three packs of biscuits and some cake to binge on. Not a good idea. The binge food is sitting in a bag in the wardrobe, calling to me. I must ignore it! Maybe I should get earplugs...

Other than that, my hips have been majorly playing up, despite all the pain relief. Yesterday was a disaster as I could hardly get out of bed and was sobbing pathetically. I guess I was just overwhelmed by the pain. It was so intense and I was white and shaky, signs that I need to give my body a break! So I took some more painkillers and got some sleep. Happily today the pain has eased dramatically. Thank God, as it's back to dog walking again tomorrow.

In other news, it looks like the new band is coming together, plus I have been booked for some more gigs as session work. Still crossing fingers for steady work next year.

Must get on track with local advertising of my teaching skills...need to build up a client base pretty fast at the moment. Getting on track has been so difficult but I think I am finally beginning to reap the rewards. Hooray!

Went out today and bought new pencils and a notepad to hopefully start jotting down poems again. It has been too long since I wrote anything meaningful. I have either been too stressed or too inebriated. This new, improved me is certainly finding lots of things to fill the days with.

I must must must make it a goal to get back to the gym. My physiotherapy will start up again soon and I need to get in shape for the sake of my joints. They have got incredibly lax again and it's only making the pain worse. I've needed crutches quite a bit recently and that's with the morphine patches. God only knows what I'll be like in a few years' time!

Until next time x

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