I have been reading through blogs endlessly for the last couple of days, having been laid up with hip trouble.
One I have particularly enjoyed is http://www.recoverydiscovery.wordpress.com.
I think reading her blog has made me realise one vital thing: that I never allow myself to sit in a space where I 'maintain' my weight. I am always either losing (i.e. restricting) or gaining (i.e. bingeing). I guess the revelation is that I am either rigidly in control or totally out of control. Perhaps it's time to search for the middle ground, some kind of balance. An equilibrium between the two.
I think for so long my fear of maintenance has been that I have no idea how much food to eat to stay there, and that often I am attempting to maintain an unrealistic weight, meaning I still feel empty on the amount of food it takes to remain there, which of course leads to bingeing. It's either the euphoria of restriction or the utter despair of bingeing and purging.
Here's to the quest for the middle ground!