Tuesday, 16 November 2010


So I saw my CPN H earlier. She's so adorable and I love her to bits, but it's hard seeing her when she knows as well as I do that even though I am sick and need specialist services, there is no chance of me getting that help. Where I live there is NOTHING, and out of area I can't get funded, I am still pushing and trying to get funding to go to a private residential centre....at the moment even getting into an ED treatment program would be a start, but around here it just doesn't exist. People like me are left to get so sick they need hospitalisation on a medical ward being tube fed, only to be dumped back on the mental health team with no follow-up support. Hence why the distress of the weight gain leads to starving, self harm, purging....all sorts of negative behaviours that would be dealt with properly as an inpatient in an actual therapeutic clinic setting. It's very frustrating and I understand that ultimately I am the only person who will look out for me and I simply have to try harder. I'm going to try and eat more...that's about as much as I can do right now.


  1. Yes, it's shit isn't it? I don't think people realise unless they have been through it in the UK, but there is just nothing available, or you're on a waiting list for a couple of years. I'm talking about general mental health support, but it does not surprise me that the same applies to ED services.

    It made me laugh the other week. I did actually, for the first time in 3 years, manage to get the crisis team out to me. They arrived at 1am, asked if I intended to self harm, I said yes, they said go to bed instead, and five minutes later they are out the door.

    I've turned into a right old 'disgruntled from Kent', and I'm always writing stroppy letters and complaining. Gets me nowhere, but it is mildly cathartic!

    Keep hanging in there LL

    xx Pixie

  2. I want you so badly to be able to get proper care for all you current problems and going inpatient would be the best way for that. It sucks that isn't an option available to you. I wish you all the best Lady Laz. And take babysteps with the eating so you do not become too anxious.

  3. Wow can I relate to you sweetie....just about the same issues here. No insurance, NO money, no way to get the help i need unless i go to the hospital and tell them im suicidal, which i cannot do, and which would only get me committed for 72 hours and then released again without the care i need. It really makes you feel disposable when you realize how hard a person who is willing to recover has to fight just to get the help they need, while others, who fight tooth and nail against the care, get it freely. What a money based fucked world we live in.

    Keep working hard, keep fighting for you...you deserve recovery.