WIPED OUT BUT HAPPY

I feel utterly drained today.

In other news, it's snowing! Heavily. I took G out this morning for a long walk in the bright sunshine and just as we collapsed through the front door it started sleeting. That was about four hours ago and it is now white outside.

I love the snow in principle, but not having a car and having an energetic dog makes it a nightmare. I have to constantly be getting sopping wet and changing my clothes, and worse is that G HATES getting wet, so he spends his walks whining and looking miserable. Yet if I don't walk him he's crazy mad energy wise in the house and he knows how to wind me up.

We don't have access to the back of the house from the side so when I bring a soaked, dirty, muddy dog in it's to our tiny hallway and kitchen, which has brown walls from his love of drying himself on them! I feel like all I do is sweep up and mop up after him! Little bugger. Of course it's worth it though.

The forecast for tomorrow looks ok, so hopefully my OH will come on a long walk with me. We got a camper van last April and he's a bit nervous with the icy weather coming about driving it. It's got a massive engine and is heavy and because we had 4 wheel drive on the last vehicle he's anxious. I'm sure it'll be fine. Just have to drive a bit more carefully. Last year we had to rev the car on four wheel drive and literally drag it up the hill out of our road, and a load of people with smaller cars were snowed in. I live in Wales so it can get pretty snowy here. Originally I'm from down South where it hardly snows, and when it does it's melted the same day.

So today has been pretty lazy. I've done some weights, but not a good enough amount. I slept after I walked the dog, which I don't normally do. I am worried I have an infection somewhere because I'm just so tired all the time, and because my white blood cell count was low. Hopefully it'll either show itself or I'll start to feel better.

Have upped the laxatives and toilet troubles are not QUITE as bad, although I still have a football for a belly. I look about three months pregnant! My weight is stable, but I'm having a hard time balancing eating right and not bingeing. Like last night, I ate a whole bar of white chocolate and didn't feel too terrible, but it set off the binge urges majorly. I ended up getting out of bed and going downstairs for bombay mix. Luckily I waited before I succumbed to it and I didn't have any in the end. Thank god for resisting temptation. I'm seriously thinking about bingeing tonight. Argh. I guess it's because I'm tired and cold and my body hurts. I just want to comfort myself. Ah, pity party....need a kick up the backside!

Christmas is coming! I'm doing well with my shopping, I already have quite a few family members covered. Hopefully I will get it done before the MAD rush starts. It's already murder in the supermarket at the weekend and as usual they've shifted all the aisles to make way for Christmas and noone can find their regular food. It's chaos! Grr. And I HATE food shopping, I get so mad like I've got road rage and start muttering things about people and growling. I am not fun to be with! Usually I send OH off to look at DVDs and I shop on my own. Then there's less arguments and WW3 is averted.

Well, enough for now, I'm checking out as OH will be home soon and I'm off to make some tea.

Love x