Isn't it sick the things we do to ourselves when we no longer care? When our goal is fighting the self-destructive urges 24/7?
EXAMPLE: Burning yourself SO badly *full thickness* and in a compromising place *lower arm and hand, over the wrist joint* because you knew it would involve a skin graft operation, and you wanted one because you were bummed that they refused last time as it was self-inflicted?
Isn't that just so awful and sick and quite sad?
Yet at the time it was exciting, thrilling, numbing... attention....love....compassion.
Oh so much fear, so many tears.
I am forgiving myself.
But I will never forget.
And I am sorry to all those that suffered alongside me as witnesses to my pain.
Be thankful, whatever life brings x