Monday, 4 October 2010


I have actually done pretty well for me eating wise today. Now, ideally I wouldn't have had ANY sugar or eaten after dinner, but right now hooray for small victories. I have managed not to weigh myself in a few days. I'm afraid to in a way. I just don't want to go over 6st 7. I think I can sustain that without starving. So tonight I had 2 weetabix with hot water, an apple and three boiled sweets. That's cool I guess. I reckon I'm still only at around 1000kcal today.

Apart from that, it's been a lame day. I didn't make it into town, and I desperately needed to go to drop off a script and get a haircut. The fact that my hair is such a mess at the moment is making me want to hide away more. I will feel SO much better when it's done.

I backed out again this evening. I signed my dog up for agility classes a year ago and he finally got to the top of the waiting list last week. I was all excited and had budgeted the petrol and the fees and worked out that it would be feasible. So my first night was tonight. I didn't go. And I won't be going now, seeing as I wrote them an email saying to give my slot to someone else. Stupid, hey? I just feel like I couldn't commit to paying for 10 weeks up front when I'm having SUCH a hard time getting out of the house. I would do what I always do, stress for the whole week about it and make myself ill over it, and then end up not going anyway because the anxiety would be so high by then. Plus I don't really feel up to committing myself to any activity right now, given my inability to keep appointments.

The super sad fact is that I REALLY did want to do it. Again I chose the easy option and crawled into a dark hole. Well to be precise, I sat myself on my beanbag in front of the computer and blogged the evening away, all the while watching shit American TV to drown my sorrows.


Tomorrow I really have to try and kick my arse out of the front door. After I walk the mutt I shall try and get into town.

We shall see...

1 comment:

  1. Perhaps me being Americana is hindering my understanding but...why are you not out of your house yet? American TV is the worst for drowning sorrows. Funny but I drown my sorrows on the BBC and Chef Gordon Ramsey.

    We should both kick our asses pronto! Staying in house will prove hazardous to health. Best wishes.